I cannot for the life of me get my mind to shut off- so I am of course going to blog...
I have all of these things zooming around in my mind, making sleep a goal that is hard to reach. I have school that is beginning to keep me VERY busy, a new calling that is keeping me busy, and new and exciting things happeining in my life at the moment.
I can't help thinking, why now of all times does a certain phrase have to be running through my mind? I would much rather bury it so I don't have to think about it. Sometimes I think I analyze too much, other times, I don't think I think about it enough. Sometimes I think I know what my answer is and I can't seem to convince myself it is true. What is holding me back? Could it be I am scared of repeating past episodes on the dramatic channel that is my life? Could it be I actually know and that is what is scary? Could the answer be no, and I am scared of the real answer? I don't know for sure. I know that I need to pray about it, but for some reason if the immediate response doesn't come to my mind- maybe that is my answer. I have no clue! that is what I dislike about this moment in my life. Some days, I feel like I had no time to myself- if that makes any sense. Other days, I like hearing it in my mind. Maybe it's that I haven't adapted to all the changes in my life yet, I don't know for sure. I'm too fickle!
4 comments:
Okay. We need to talk! I will call you this weekend.
I think dad is right...you think too much...go with your heart...your first response of your heart flip flopping and butterflies is an immediate answer!!!!!! And I think you are scared of what it means if it is true...like are you really ready for the next big step!!!!! you know I'm right. It also helped very much last time when you talked to Tara and/or Hillary and Lindsey. Might try that again. You're killing me!!!!! Love you!
I am always here if you need to talk to me. :) Even if it is just that you want me to be quiet and listen. :)
Love you!
Like to stay up late like your mom does I see. I have not read every word here but from what I'm seeing you listen to your mama. You gotta go with the heart. If there is the least lil bit of a stupor of thought, it's not right. Ask Hillary if she ever had a stupor of thought when she was dating Cameron. Ask Bishop Wagley and his wife Lori if they ever had a stupor of thought after that first magical kiss. When love, kindness, tenderness, laughter, sympathy, togetherness all flow as free as a mountain stream, you know there is something there worth pursuing. It just happens and it is magical and yes it gives you and him butterflies and it is a peculiar feeling that is very special; one with which neither of you are familiar with but you know it is real.
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